James stops drinking... the tranny hooker story.

the following is not incredibly work friendly but it´s also only about tranny hookers at the end. i think typing tranny hookers is fun and although tranny hookers don´t play a huge role in this story, i thought tranny hookers needed to be in the title. the girl above is NOT a tranny hooker. she is some girl in nicaragua who was representing the sandinista government at a rally i went to last night, my friend was on stage and got the pics for me. pretty amazing night. almost met the president but got to see him up close. that will be the next post. it was amazing. Before I went on a rant last post I was talking about the dirtbag bomb that went off at Tranquilo Backpackers... so let´s continue from there. Basically, I walked in, open minded but not feeling a huge desire to socialize too much with these people. I got my room (everything in Costa Rica is a lot more expensive than the rest of CA) and decided to stick with plan A. Plan A had been hatched days before when I found out I would arrive in San Jose late at night and therefor be unable to leave San Jose immediately (highly recommended). Plan A involved casinos and me, this is really all you need to know. Problem with this night was that I didn´t have a plan for losing my money. I was in high spirits since I finally had arrived and was ready to begin my trip. This created a false sense of ¨i can´t possibly lose all this money¨... this turned out to be very untrue. I brought an undisclosed amount of USD´s to the Horseshoe Casino a few blocks from my hostel. Took a cab due to the cash I was carrying and realize that i live in the tranny red light district of San Jose. At first glance they look like women, until you look again or hear them cat call you... then you realize that although they have clearly had some top surgery, they are not women. The cab driver makes some jokes about them then asks if I want one, I respectfully decline and ask if a lot of gringos ¨frequent¨the ladyboys. He says yup. I head to the casino thinking nothing of it. I walk in and realize it´s all Americans. They were incredibly obnoxious and since I usually enjoy being the only incredibly obnoxious American in a given place at a given time, I got a bad vibe but continued anyway. The positive to all these obnoxious Americans was a very live craps game. I rolled the dice, did ok, and started to really put down the free drinks. This is where the problems began. I leave the craps table for some game I don´t even know but am convinced by some other gringos (from some eurocountry) that it´s a lucrative game (they never are). Lose a little no big deal. Sit down at a rummy 21 table. Learn how to play that. Pretty much blackjack with more ways to lose. At this rummy table is the only Costa Ricans in the place along with an expat American from Texas who redefines obnoxious. He is a regular here and if there is anyone to blame for what happens next (beside the obvious: me) it would be him. He says, wanna do a shot? I say, !!! they give shots here (not standard casino practice as far as I know) he says yeah, 2 shots of jager. I dont need to tell the rest but basically I lost all the cash I had on me. Decide since i have no money on my person I can walk back. This is not the best idea but I was drunk and not thinking so clearly. Got approached by about 6 tranny hookers, told them how pretty they were but no thanks, this is definitely the best way to handle tranny hookers. You compliment them but clearly show no interest and they leave you alone and dont beat you up (I dont know if tranny hookers beat people up but some of them were way more jacked that I could ever be) So I returned back to the hostel, got the rest of my cash from my safe, talked with some people about why I was leaving again so soon. They say, bad idea, you are just going to lose it. I say yeah prolly but I could also win it all back (drunk logic). Now, as I have cash on me I take a taxi back. Takes even less time to blow through this cash. Not going into details about how much I went through because it´s disgusting and stupid and the details dont matter. The good byproduct of this is, I am spending off the money I would have used on booze (would have been the biggest expense on the trip) to feed street kids. This is really good and I have meet some really great kids because of it. I will write a post about that sometime in the future. So I walk back to my hostel, it´s about 230 am. I realize that I hate the hostel, it smells like mold (forgot to mention that before) in my dorm and I am done with it. Go online and find out a bus leaves to Nicaragua at 3am. I hurry, get my stuff, tell the girl at the desk I am going to try to catch a bus but might return, she give me back my deposit in dollars and rips me off for half my deposit (5$) I dont realize this till the next day. I take a quick taxi to the bus station. The bus was full but I buy a ticket for hte next afternoon. Return back to the hostel completely defeated and ready to crash. Girl lets me in but when I try to go to my dorm bed. She asks what I am doing because I am no longer a guest .... I do the scooby doo ¨HUHHHH!!?!?!?¨ I politely tell her I told her that I may return, she says she took me out of the system and I would need to pay again. I say its the principle of the matter. At this point she thinks since she already took my deposit and I didn´t notice, she can milk antoher 14$ outta me. Knowing I have no other option at 4am. I dont remember what I said but it was basically polite and rude at the same time. I then proved my thick-headedness (to her surprise)by walking out with all my stuff into the tranny hooker infested night. I walk down the street a short distance to another hostel I saw. I open the gate and am given a free peep show of a tranny hooker... how to put this.... orally satisfying a gringo customer. They pretend like they were doing anything but lets face it, they were caught pants down. I avert my eyes say sorry and run to the door looking directly forward. THe new hostel people are really nice and put me in a really clean dorm room with one other person who is not there. I figure this person is out at the bar for a late night and think nothing of it. I head to the bathroom, drink a gallon of tap water (they said it was safe, I was too drunk and thirsty to care ) and head to bed. As I am standing by the door putting my toothbrush away, the door opens and there is gringo john stareing at me. He says nothing, but his jaw literally falls open at the prospect of seeing the guy who just interrupted his tranny bj as his new roommate. I felt really bad for him because I got the feeling he was smashed, in another country and didn´t think he´d ever have to acknowledge this embarrassing event again (which i guess he didnt´but seeing me 10 mins later must not have been the ideal situation for him). He did an about face and walked away. It was really awkward and I dont know how many seconds this took to transpire but the grin was bubbling to the surface on my smug drunk face. He turned and I laughed to myself, hit the lights, climbed up into the bunk and pretended I didn´t hear him when he came back into the room a few minutes later. I fell asleep wondering about how I get myself into these situations and realize that had I just went to bed or payed the extra money at the other hostel, I wouldn´t have had this experience. Definitely bring them upon myself, but I still haven't decided if this is a good thing or not.... hasta la proxima