a primer to the chicken bus

this email was originally sent out on 07/15/05 you can see how my writing has really not changed much except for maybe new vocab and sometimes now i use correct grammar and punctuation due to the whole career thing. peas.

Well, I arrived in Guatemala on tues and it has been non-stop craziness since... havn´t been to class yet (skipped the first day to hike a volcano at night) though which isn´t much different from college. We went from Guat city to Quetzaltenango (Xela) via a ¨chicken¨ bus as they are called here... let me explain what i see as the requisites for being classified as a chicken bus.

1. it must be a very old surplus us school bus
2. it must be painted crazy colors/have scary sayings/bloody murals of christ/bulletholes/or fake chrome or other shiney things
3. must have a guy who hangs out holding on with one hand either the window or the door, he must scream at anyone on the road and solicit them to get on the bus... even if there are already 60 people in the seats and the aisles, which segues nicely to 4...
4. bus must be crowded and by crowded dont think of your western, 5 people in a car crowded, thats empty by these standards you must have people and/or animals until you cannot move an inch with any part of your body. aisle, laps and over the shifter up front are all completely valid and promoted seats.
.5. the final and most important requisite is the driver. imagine the worst road you have ever been on, imagine it now with a school bus with bad breaks, no muffler , no suspension going in the wrong lane on a hairpin turn doing 3 times the posted speed limit. that is you avg chicken bus ride between cities. the driver must possess a reckless disregard for anythign in his path, including but not limited to

*any people or animals in or near the road (because near the road is perfectly fine as long as its not off a cliff)

* other vehicles, including large mack trucks carrying highly explosive propane.

ok so thats the chicken bus in a nutshell. on tuesday a chicken bus killed 20 people as it went off the road further west of my city. oh yeah one other thing, when in need (which is surprisingly often) a 2 lane highway can accommodate 3 large vehicles passing at high speeds (often clipping mirrors) when none of them will yield to other.

One other thing, on our 4 hour trip to Xela, we were stopped twice by policia who lead the males off the bus at gunpoint, and guns here arnt little toys, they are large shotguns and submachine guns wielded by kids who look about 15, i hope their teens arnt as angst filled as ours because people would get shot often if we gave american 15 year olds guns. on a lighter and serious note, it is amazing here, to those of you who have never been to central america , if you come i dont think you will regret it, the people are amazing, the food is very good and the overall vibe is just more relaxed and laid back....except on the chicken buses.