Ok so, as the three of us are on our way to the casino, it´s around 12am, in other words, its early for a night on the town... and we come to a police road block/checkpoint (they could have been army, they were dressed like the army but I do not remember, this detail is unimportant). Now, I know I have nothing on me, except cash (if you are naive about travel in Latin America... cops take cash off ¨extraneros¨because really what can you do about it) and a bottle of beer from the bar. I hide the beer under the seat even though it is legal to have an open container as long as you are not driving. I proceed to step out of the car along with the taxi driver and the two Aussies. The cops begin to search all of us. My cop was the leader and seemed particularly unhappy. This is probably due to the fact the poor guy has to work nights... I know all about night jobs, they generally suck if you have to do anything besides sleep through them. Anyway, as he was patting me down (quiet thoroughly I might add) I decided in my ¨enlightened¨ state, to have a little fun to try to make this guy laugh... At this point in the story I need to issue a warning to the nun that reads this (and anyone else who has any respect for me). Sister Tess, you know I love you and I also know that for some reason completely unbeknownst to me, you think highly of me... please for the sake of my standing in your eyes (and possibly gods although I am on shaky ground with him as is) , skip this next part. So the not so friendly frowning Colombian cop (double points for double alliteration) asks me if I have any guns on me. I crack a smile, point to my jeans and say ¨just this one!¨ Then I let out a little laugh to make sure he knew I was joking. Well, he got the joke, but apparently didn´t think it was as funny as I did, so much for my icebreakering (new word alert) ability. He pretended I didn´t say anything (surely he thought it was funny, dick jokes are a form of bonding that cross cultural barriers) and then stuck his finger in my watch pocket to check for drugs again. I think he just had to keep up his tough cop persona, surely we would have laughed about it and thrown a few back at the club if he were off duty. Anyway, then he kinda pushed me back towards the taxi and we left. Won 20´000 pesos at blackjack, got upset at the pitboss for not letting a double down on 11 go through which I would have won another 20´000 on, made a scene and cashed out. I was wide awake, the Aussies were not, this is due to my superior staying power when on vacation. I don't want to miss anything so I force myself to stay up and do fun things. I cab it to the club with them and they walk home. I enter the club and strike up a convo with a couple of Italian guys there, we make dick jokes, drink more, everything is merry. I meet these 3 girls, they seem nice enough and when I tell them I am leaving for Santa Marta (a touristy place 4 hours from Cartagena) they tell me to go with them because they live and work there. I say sure, I have no friends there, now I have 3. I leave the club, go back to my dorm and listen to this psycho Norwegian tell the worlds longest story about almost getting hacked to death in China. By the time he shuts up (honestly it was a good story but it was very late and I wanted sleep) it was 5am. So the next morning, I meet the girls at the bus stop. Turns out the ¨they¨ turned into one. This was weird but whatever. The trip to Santa Marta had some interesting conversation to say the least. Let me put it this way, I now have a very expensive 2 bd, 2 bath condo at my disposal. A giant man made waterfall is just an elevator away with multiple pools, hot tubs and saunas whenever I want. The master bedroom has amazing views of both the Caribbean and the Sierra Nevadas... I´ll explain tomorrow. Jamesobar.
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